Director: Maria Lee Metheringham
Release date: 2022
Contains spoilers
After writing this review I went and checked critic reviews on IMDb and wondered whether I had been harsh. My soul searching led to a conclusion of, no. This is a deeply flawed film and the fact that it managed to garner fairly positive reviews is just one of life’s mysteries. It’s also sad as I would like to support UK indie films, but not at any cost…
Bite Night, originally entitled Party of Valice, is meant to be a horror with a comedy soul but I, unfortunately, wasn’t laughing. Flat gags and poor delivery with a plot that needed more narrative and long stretches that should have hit the cutting room floor.
 |
| like From Dusk till Dawn |
It starts in a club and a trio of ladies singing to an electro-beat synth-pop type thing, lead singer Valice (Rachel Brownstein) and harmonies from Katarina (Martha Niklas) and Zuzanna (Maria Lee Metheringham). Valice wears a white snake, bringing From Dusk till Dawn to mind, but without the iconic power of the referenced scene. During this there are high jinks (of the unfunny kind) with characters who won’t actually come into the film. Valice announces that 6 balloons, in a load to be dropped in the next song, will contain invites to an exclusive after show party at the group’s home.
 |
| the winners |
The six who win – Ebeneizer (George Walker), Biffa (Peter M. George), Tash (Marcella Edgecombe-Craig), Ridley (Roland Martial), Axel (Ryan-Jay Jones) and Ronnie (Kian Pollard) are put in a limo. The scenes of it driving through a cityscape are too long, ponderous and pace sapping. The scenes inside are filled with stereotyped dialogue and flat delivery of humourless quips. It all feels a tad too amateurish. They find champagne and are all smashed by the time they get to the house. On the walk up the (very long) driveway a man (credited as Hunter (Wyn Hopkins)) grabs Ebeneizer, nicks his clothes and donning a (conveniently carried on his person) blonde wig takes his place. What Hunter is doing there is never answered.
 |
| dream of vampires |
So they go in the house, are greeted by Sandra (Dani Thompson), the housekeeper, are left in a room for a bit, shown to bedrooms and… well its all a bit tedious and badly thought out. We do get a moment of vampire fantasy by Axel (recounting a dream) and Hunter vanishes whilst sliding down the banister (into thin air apparently). Eventually they go down for dinner (with a remonstration because Biffa hasn’t stayed in his allotted room) and Hunter is there but acting odd (we later see black makeup round his eyes indicating he has been taken over by the very bad thing). Dinner is a severed head and celery with Hunter dipping his finger in an eye socket and the others freaking out.
 |
| Martha Niklas as katarina |
It is then revealed that the women are vampires but (having sucked Axel to death) Katarina bites Hunter and becomes ill – his blood now black… Something is in the house (when we see it a black, zombie-like creature that seems oily) and the kids are caught between the vampires and the creature – who can turn a vampire. What is it? The film doesn’t say – though there is a “to be continued” after the credits. All in all you’ll be left stupefied by the story, or lack of exposition thereof, and unmoved by the plight of the characters. I do have to say not all the acting left me cold and Martha Niklas injected her character with fun despite the script.
 |
| Valice teases |
But it is too little too late. The film’s budget showed in most aspects and the inexperience of the filmmakers was readily apparent. If we class this as cutting their teeth then, of course, it is hoped that they learn, develop and grow but this did nothing for me. Yet despite all that there was clearly some effort to try and do something unusual. 2.5 out of 10. The imdb page is here.